soulmate

Read my bestfriends’s post about love, soulmate and commitment.

intriguing question: What is a soulmate?
Google soulmate: found 955,000 matches in 0.27 seconds. Mostly websites on how to find one.
Image google soulmate: found 6,430 matches in 0.15 secs. Mostly photographs of somebody’s soulmate, some pics of 2 people holding each other.
Wikipedia soulmate:

Soulmate (or soul mate) is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a subjective, emotional feeling of deep affinity, friendship, love, strong intimacy or compatibility.
The term makes reference to the scientifically unproven concept of the soul and carries certain New Age overtones. There is a prevalent concept in some segments of the New
Age movement that some souls are literally made and/or fated to be the mates of each other, or to play certain other important roles in each others' lives.
A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul - thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, which all souls are driven to find and
unite with.
However, not everyone who uses these terms intends them to carry such mystical connotations; they are sometimes used simply as an expression of strong emotional feeling for someone.

Read the rest of the article here.

Why is it such a big deal to find one?
Does failure to find one will result in such an unhappiness and misery?
Could finding one be considered an accomplishment and/or pure luck?
Does finding one guarantee you of total bliss, total freedom of feeling empty and lonely?
Does it have to be someone you want to be with?
Does one’s have to be together with one’s soulmate?
What if you’ve found one, but that person does not think you are his/hers?
What if you can not be together with your soulmate? Could you consider that as a sign that that person’s not your soulmate?
Is it someone who fits you like a glove?
Is it just some creation of mind?
Is it the same as ‘jodoh’?
Is it the same as ‘the one’?

From various sources (mostly movies and books. Heh heh) I concluded that soulmate is somebody who just gets you and vice versa. Somebody who completes you. Makes you feel worth it, worth living in this world. Somebody who fill that empty hole you didn’t know exist until you’ve met him/her. Somebody worth searching for here and there. Somebody who make this crazy world livable. Somebody who make everything makes sense. Etc. all in one person.
Really? If that’s so, should we pity someone who could not find one?
I don’t think so.

I also get the notion that there is only one soulmate in the whole wide world for you, that if you lost yours then you sort of doomed to be lonely till the day you die (HA!!!! *cynical mode on*). That hole will be empty for good. In a bad ways, things will never be the same.
Well baby, life goes on. No time mooning over what you could not have.

To think in terms of soulmate is very limiting.
you haven’t found one:
you’ll wonder when or whether you will. Searching high and low, wondering is he/she the one. Believing that your life or you yourself incomplete (and missing all the opportunities the world has to offer).
you’ve already found one:
you’ll be worried if you’re going to lose it. what will happen if ‘the one’ is gone.
You might get lazy, thinking that being with yours you won’t need a lot of work maintaining your relationship. (hey, we understand each other so much, finish each other’s sentences, knowing before mentioning and stuff like that).
Then ……. KABOOM!!!! It’s too late. ‘the one’ no longer. Soulmate no more.
How do you say to that, huh?

I do believe in some definition of soulmate. But I don’t believe there is ONE person who fits all that categories. One and only. I believe that this person is perfect for me in some ways, but not in every little thing. I do believe that that person is really good at filling this hole in my soul, but the other person fits perfectly in other. Some people can fill several holes. Some people fills many holes. but not one person can fill almost every hole, because my life will be boring then. Because to me, that person’s will be consuming mine. And sometimes, person filling the hole will change. And that’s okay because my life is not some static lake, because I want mine to be always flowing. I’ll be finished when I get to the sea which hopefully still a long way.
and I do not believe that I have this one uncompleted hole for this one soulmate.
I also don’t get this idea that one’s have to be married to one’s soulmate. its just……. confining.

I think this whole soulmate thing is overrated.

(tadinya mau post tentang commitment juga. tapi lain kali aja deh.....)