what keep me going

There were two occasions both asking why I chose to come here. Both quick answers inside my head were: ‘they made me!!!’, which of course totally different from what actually came out (better education system, wanting to taste living here and other diplomatic, lame excuses).
Its not that am ungrateful. I like it here, but somewhere along the way, misundertandings took place where I felt like this golden opportunity (as some people always reminding me of again and again and again and again in the unmotivatingly irritating manner) were not landed but instead slapped upon my face and shoved down my neck.

Felt really depressed about two weeks ago. I started to miss my family and friends, longing for the old-easy peasy-comforts of home. one day I was frying (yes, I cook!!!) and burned my hand. I was upset, pissed and frustrated about coping with my new life. Then I remembered someone back home that made me feel better, in not so good way.
The first thought was: well, at least I don’t have to face that old-feudalistic-has-been here.
Which followed with: gee, didn’t know I hated him that much.
Hm.

Anyways, watched a beautiful rainbow with neng nong neng gung. Called home and talked with bubulibu. Walked to the park and found public library with children program. Got id card (means am officially acknowledged as a legal person in campus).
the tough has get going and tinsiest things can put a big smile on my face again.