Motherhood

It’s been 2 months since I had baby and I’ve learned so much.
First thing is the worries. Being an auntie, you can experience all the happiness of watching children grow up with all its cuteness and tantrums without being worried about their future. Being a mum, I worried about baby since day one. My labor was considered normal except that I bled a little too much. I remembered the obgyn looked a bit troubled and ordered the nurse to get a blood transfusion. I tried to be positive but couldn’t help thinking what if I didn’t survive? I really-really wanted to be able to take care of baby. since then, the worries keep adding up every single day that if you don’t stop, you’ll end up in the asylum. Reading what to expect book from big sista really helped.

i also grasped the baby blues/postpartum depression thing can happen to anyone. I used to think that it only happens to mothers who could’nt get enough support so it was a wonder how come this celebrity suffer one? Then come the day I came home with baby. I have all the supporting system I need but when I looked at this little cute face, sleeping peacefully in my arms, so helpless, so fragile, I was terrified. God, this is such a huuuuuge responsibility. There’s not enough movies, documentaries, books, articles and whatever that blame bad upbringing that destroy one’s life. Blame it all on your mother. I was overwhelmed, scared that I will wreck this precious little thing God has given me. Thank God this only lasted a day.

From then on I learned the truth about taking care of baby like:
- waking up every 2 hours at night is not as bad as it sound. It definitely helped me shed my baby weight.
- If you’re a lazy mum like me and want to wipe your baby’s spit up with the shirt you wear, do it in the area farthest from your nose or you’ll end up inhaling the smell of sourmilk the rest of your day.
- Every body has their own opinion on how you should treat your baby and they are never ever shy to tell you the best way to do it. You can never do right.
- On the contrary, if you tell them that you are concerned about your baby showing abnormalities, they are quick to assure you that it is going to be all right, that you should not worry about a thing.

Am so blessed.

(written on Feb 23, 06)
Pics: Detail from The Three Ages of Women by Gustav Klimt (1862 - 1918)