last saturday

Particularly nice day, today.

Marking the second weekend of the new adventure. My mateys are back home for good. I’m gonna have to go through the rest of my journey alone.

It sucks big time, of course. But, hey. You gotta do what you gotta do.

First week was hell, added with that time of the month when your hormones go crazy and you became the drama queen of them all. First weekend: BIG BLAH.

This weekend is fine so far. Nice weather. Am actually looking out of my window and see the bluest sky, no speck of cloud in sight.

Lets see what happened.

Had a wonderful-splendid-refreshing holiday. Really really happy and energized to get back on track and catch up on work. I went to the office when I was on holiday, just to say hi. Them bosses talked about and offered…. Um… an opportunity? I don’t really care for it but it sort of how they show their commitment and I don’t see why I have to say no. Well actually, I don’t think I have the guts to anyway. Hahah.

So yeah, I talked about it with chubby matey and incorporate it as an alternative of our plan. Its there, but unless it materialised, we went ahead with our initial plan. Then came the news that its not happening. We were actually relieved, because now we didn’t have to ever think about it and concentrated on our preparations.

Then came one Thursday or Friday. The offer is back on the table. On the busiest time. The crucial time. The WRONG TIME. I don’t have the guts to say no and part of me just wanted to go back home. We had to do our plan b. Made our decision on Friday, got tickets the next Monday, home on Wednesday. Lil’ matey was soooo happy. I was also happy to be home but I was completely heartbroken knowing that soon I will be parted with her.  Nevertheless, I am glad that she is surrounded with love.

So I finished my business there. Leaving lil’ matey was the hardest thing. I knew that it would be difficult time once I’m back. And it was. Every little thing remind me of her. Every corner, every turn. Shattered to bits when the guy who bought our sofa came to pick it up. That rinky-dink thing was the centre of her activities. Lil’ matey did everything but sit nicely on it.

I’m so glad that chubby matey was there. Our last days here was as fun as it could be.

But he too had to go. Then everything remind me of him.

Went to the road where we used to live.

Felt like walking all the way up to our old apartment, through the white seashell pathway. I want to open the gate and see lil’ matey on the ragged blue coach, doing anything but sit nicely on it. Watch her face brighten up, her smile when she greeted me. See chubby matey sit on our dining table, watching dvd on his portable player with his blue mug and maybe a bowl of snack.

Dammit. I hate to be so far away from them.

the first days were ok, because I kept myself busy with work and adjusting to new place and routines. But reality started to sink in. Approaching weekend, I was a wreck. Thank god it didn’t last too long.

This week was fine.

Still cries once in a while. But I am getting better at managing my emotion, finding things to get my mind off feeling lonely and missing my mateys and family so much.

So here’s to my new adventure.

Hope to finish it well. Soon.